**Note** For writing purposes in this blog, I will mostly write from the point-of-view of a woman looking for a man, even though it can and should be read the other way around too. This is so I don’t have to write “him or her” or “he or she” throughout.
LOOK IN PLACES where you would expect to find someone with the qualities you value. If you want someone who cares, look at the local soup kitchen and see who is volunteering on Saturday afternoons9. If you want someone who is good with kids, look for a coach or a teacher or a mentor. If you want a generous guy, ask yourself: Who in your crowd has a generous spirit? Who shares his Pepsi with you without your asking? Who gives you the seat on the bus? Who goes out of his way for his grandmother or aunt? Who sacrifices his day off to work for Habitat for Humanity? Who works Sundays at the homeless shelter? Who volunteers at the Children’s Hospital as a clown? Who shares freely about himself and his needs, ideas, hopes and dreams? Who doesn’t care if his generosity is noticed or even appreciated? This is the type of man to look for.
If you want a man of faith you will be more apt to find him in church than in a bar.
If you want a man with purpose and direction in life realize he is not the type of fellow who answers, "I dunno" when you ask what he wants to major in. He is not the guy on the street corner who says, "Hey, I just wanna party. I don’t care about school." This guy has his head on straight and knows where he is going and how to get there. He may be poor, or come from a broken home, but he is determined to rise above difficult circumstances. He wants to go somewhere in life. He believes he has a future beyond age 20 and doesn’t want to jeopardize his future. He has a dream beyond living at home with his parents or next week’s big party.
If he is the guy at the office who lets everyone else do the work, and he takes the credit, watch out. Is he learning more and more in his trade? Becoming more highly skilled? Teaching others? Where is he going?
If you are looking for a person with a sense of humor, look for someone with the ability to laugh at him or herself and with others (not at others). If a person always takes himself too seriously, he will be difficult to live with. Someone who can laugh or chuckle at the antics of a child, who can play with a dog, giggle when ice cream falls in his lap is a guy worth giving a second look. He is obviously not one-dimensional, that is, he is not all work and no play. He can relax and participate with others in activities that delight and refresh the soul. He appreciates beauty and quiet, as well as screaming on the roller coaster at the theme park. He can take a joke as well as tell one. His humor is never at someone else’s expense, but he can be clever and witty. Is your Mr. Right someone who seems to be able to have fun without drugs or alcohol to loosen him up? Can he relax socially and can talk to almost anyone? Although he has a gentle manner and is he able to be silly when it is appropriate?